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« How Do You Teach Empathy? | Main | NVC Mediation: Creating Dynamic Connection »
Sunday
Jan012006

New year's revolutions - for a change

How many times have you made New Year's resolutions to change habitual patterns only to find you have not revolutionized anything?  You have just revolved back to your old habits.  Why is that and what can we do to be in integrity with ourselves and our intentions?

Now is the time that many of us review the previous year - what's working and what's not.  Often our resolutions focus on what we do not want, rather than what we do want.  It is hard to "not do" something because what we have been doing   has been serving us in some way.  To deepen our own connection to the meaning of our current behavior and also to bring clarity to what we would like to choose, consider:

1.  What would you like to change?  What is not working?
2.  What are your reasons for wanting to make the change?  What needs are you hoping to meet?
Note:  By need, we mean what is deeply important within you.  A need is universally valued by all.  Needs, as we use them here, make no reference to anyone, including you, doing any specific thing.  If you have not yet connected to something universal, continue to ask yourself this question until you do:  If I had that, then what would I have?
Some examples of universal needs are:  well-being, connection, play, self-expression, meaning, cooperation, beauty.
For a more complete list of universal needs, go to:
http://www.cnvc.org/needs.htm
3.  What needs are you meeting through your current behavior?
4.  What other ways can you meet the needs currently met by what you would like to change?

When we honor the needs currently being met, and focus on the cherished values we are hoping to meet, change naturally occurs with more ease.  

Happy New Year!
Jori

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